Wonderlust (Steel Roses #1) Read online

  “Ignore your mother, Sweetheart. She hasn’t taken her medication yet.” I couldn’t help but snigger at the look my mother gave him. “You’re enjoying yourself. That’s the important part. You’ve done so well getting a job with Rock Records. We’re so proud of you.”

  “Thank you.”

  “We’ve got to get ready for dinner now. We’ll call you soon. Love you, Natty.”

  “I love you, too.” I blew them both a kiss before the call cut off.

  It had been a busy few weeks. Alex had done a couple of media circuits in New York, promoting his new song that was part of the movie soundtrack. Gina was right about him coming to life when he was in the public eye. He hadn’t performed the song live, though. Apparently his vocal coach had advised him against it, but I didn’t quite believe that. The rest of the media promotion had been local, and it was the premier of the movie next week in LA that I was excited about. I’d never been to one before.

  We’d also be heading to Macon, Georgia to do a private show for a friend of his next month. It was a surprise for his girlfriend’s birthday. From what I understood, Oliver Kirkham was a rich businessman, and an old friend of Alex’s. He’d helped Steel Roses out in their very early days by sponsoring their first ever tour, which happened to be a university tour.

  Alex and I seemed to be getting on a little better, too. He was still a man whore, but I was learning to handle him. Gina had been right; his bark was worse than his bite. I was becoming accustomed to his routine and had met most of the people he socialized with now. From personal trainers and publicists, to bimbos and music producers. His mansion was never empty.

  It was early, but I couldn’t sleep after talking to my parents. Knowing that no one would be up yet, I decided to do a few laps in the pool. It was becoming a routine of mine.

  I still couldn’t quite believe my luck—that I got to live in a place like this. The pool water was warm as I slid in and began my first lap. I lost myself, gliding through the water, lap after lap. It wasn’t until I stopped to catch my breath a while later that I noticed a shadow. Someone was sat on one of the sun loungers near the pool.

  Tightening my hair in its bun, I looked over to see who it was. It was Shane.

  “You’re up early,” I called out as he got up to walk toward the side of the pool.

  “I went for an early morning run. You’re up earlier that usual for your swim.”

  Taking in his jogging clothes and sweat covered hair, I shrugged. “My parents called me and I couldn’t get back to sleep. I was going to get some breakfast. Are you hungry?”

  “Are you going to make those Scotch pancakes again?”

  “I can if you want,” I laughed. He nodded keenly. “Help me up then.” Shane reached his hand down and pulled me out of the water with one arm. “Jesus, you’re strong,” I gasped, stumbling into his arms. “Shit, sorry! I’m getting you wet.” I pulled back to see an imprint of my body on his clothes.

  “It’s fine.” Reaching out, he handed me a towel.

  I made myself busy in the kitchen once I’d dried off. I’d wrapped the towel around my body, tucking it in place around my chest. Now that I was used to this kitchen, I loved it. It was nice to be able to help Mary out, too. She had been having a few problems with her daughter lately and needed some time off.

  “How many pancakes do you want?” I called over my shoulder, waiting for Shane to answer.

  “Is this a private pancake party, or can I join, too?” Alex’s voice surprised me. It was really early for him. He’d gotten high last night, which usually meant he didn’t surface until sometime in the afternoon.

  “You’re hungry?” I questioned, giving him a quizzical look.

  “For your pancakes, yes.” Alex never ate breakfast. If anything, he’d have a shot of whiskey or do a line of coke. “How was your run?” he asked in a sharp tone, turning toward Shane.

  “Good.” Shane replied while I turned back to finish making the pancakes.

  “Did Steve do the night shift?”

  “No, Jimmy did.”

  “The new kid?” he fumed. “You left the mansion in the hands of a kid?” What the hell was wrong with Alex? He was losing his temper for no reason.

  “I was gone for forty-five minutes.”

  “I don’t fucking care how long you were gone. You are head of security. It’s your job to keep me safe, and you fucking didn’t!”

  “Alex,” I turned, frowning at him. “Don’t you think you’re over reacting?”

  “This doesn’t concern you, Natasha!” Whoa, he’d used my full name. He was seriously pissed about something. “I suggest you go and do your job, Shane!” What? He hadn’t even had his breakfast yet.

  “Whatever you say, Boss.” Shane sighed, getting up and storming out.

  I slammed a plate full of pancakes down in front of Alex moments later. “Try not to choke on them, will you?” I fumed, storming off, but Alex grabbed my hand, stopping me in my tracks.

  “Security is important to me. Don’t be angry with me.”

  “You were out of line, Alex. Shane does so much for you. You had no right to talk to him like that.”

  “I’ll speak to him. I’m not in a good mood this morning. These pancakes look great.” He was still holding my arm, but let me go when I took a seat on the stool next to him.

  “You don’t even eat breakfast.”

  “I felt like giving it a try this morning.” He shrugged, putting a forkful of food into his mouth. With what I can only describe as an orgasmic expression on his face, he took more mouthfuls. Jesus, he had sexy, pouty lips. “These are amazing,” he groaned.

  “And they’re healthier than whiskey or coke,” I pointed out, pulling the towel tighter around me. It had loosened a little as I was cooking.

  “I could get used to eating breakfast.”

  “You should. It’s the most important meal of the day.”

  “Is there anything going on between you and Shane?” Where the hell did that come from?

  “What? Why would you…?”

  “I was watching the two of you by the pool.” It was all starting to make sense now. “I know it’s none of my business, but if my employees are dating, I’d like to know about it.”

  “There’s nothing going on, Alex.”

  “Nothing? Really? It didn’t seem that way to me.”

  “You’re still high. You shouldn’t trust your own judgment. It makes you paranoid.”

  “If I was clean, would you see me differently? Could you look at me the way you do Shane?”

  “What do you mean? I don’t look at Shane in any way.”

  “My lifestyle, is that why you keep your distance?” He was losing me. What was he talking about?

  “I have no idea what you are talking about.”

  “You respect him.” Yes, I did. Shane was a good man. “You don’t respect me.”

  “Why is my respect so important to you? I’m your PA, it shouldn’t matter.”

  “I don’t know, it just does. I’m trying so hard with you, but I feel it may be for nothing.”

  “You’ve stopped making me a conquest. That’s why we’re getting on better. Or at least, I thought we were.”

  “You still haven’t answered my question.”

  “What question?”

  “If I didn’t have this lifestyle, would you be interested?“

  “Interested?”

  “Would you want to have sex with me?” Really? He was bringing this shit up again. I thought we’d moved past it.

  “Jesus, Alex. Let it go,” I laughed. “We are never going to have sex.”

  “No, I’m not trying to hit on you. I’m just curious.”

  “If you were just a normal guy. Not a rock star?” Alex nodded, his red, blotchy eyes watching me closely. “Would you still have all the tatts?”

  “Yes, if you want,” he chuckled.

  “Yeah, maybe,” I mused, looking at the time. Shit! I needed to have a shower and get to my office. “Y
ou’re going to make me late for work.”

  “I’ll tell your boss to go easy on you today.”

  “Thanks.” I snorted, rushing to get ready. Alex and I had the weirdest conversations. I often wondered if it was the drugs and alcohol talking, but today, I had no idea what was going on in that head of his.

  “How do you manage to braid your hair so neatly?” Diego asked. He was playing with it while I sat behind my desk.

  “Years of practice,” I muttered, trying to concentrate.

  “It’s not easy to braid your own hair. I’m a professional and couldn’t get my hair this neat.” I nodded in response. I had so much to do this morning. “Alex is in a really weird mood today.” I had to agree with that. Our conversation this morning was still confusing me. “Did he really eat breakfast this morning?”

  “Yeah, but eating breakfast is a good thing. We should encourage him to do that more often.”

  “You’re good for him, Nat. I can see a change in him since you’ve arrived.”

  “I don’t think it has anything to do with me, but I’m trying the best I can.”

  “You’re much better than Milly. She never looked out for him the way you do. Don’t get me wrong, I love her, but she was so like him. The pair of them were party animals. It wasn’t good for him. She loves the limelight as much as he does. It was a dangerous combination.”

  “Did they ever…you know…”

  “Get it on?” Diego finished my thoughts. “No, she wasn’t his type, and Alex certainly wasn’t hers.” Was he saying that Milly was a lesbian? “She bats for the other side, like me.”

  “Oh!” I gasped. “I always assumed the two of them…”

  “Most people do. She hasn’t publicly come out yet. They are very close, but more like brother and sister.” Why did I feel so relieved when I heard that?

  “And you’re telling me all this because…”

  “I see the way you look at him when you think nobody is watching. You like him, admit it.”

  “He’s Alex Harbour. It’s difficult not to look at him sometimes. He is a good-looking guy, Diego—I can’t deny that—but it doesn’t mean I like him. The man is a complete nightmare.”

  “There’s a fine line between love and hate.”

  “Don’t start quoting Steel Roses’ song lyrics,” I complained. “I have work to do.” Turning toward him, I gave my best bitch brow. I couldn’t match his, though. He had more attitude than any woman I’d ever known.

  “I’m done for now, but we’re not finished with this conversation. I need to go over outfits for the premiere with Alex.”

  “Good, go bother him instead.”

  “Bitch,” he grinned, tossing his long blonde hair behind his shoulders. “I will get the truth out of you.” Even I didn’t know what the truth was, but I had to admit that since I’d arrived, David hadn’t crossed my mind that much. Did Alex have something to do with that?

  Gazing at myself in the mirror, I hardly recognized the glamorous woman looking back at me. Against my better judgment, I’d decided to wear the Armani dress that Alex had bought me a few weeks ago. Fitting in at this premiere was important to me, even if the dress wasn’t my usual style. I hated to admit that the man had taste, though. The dress was short, but it didn’t cling around my butt like it had in the changing room. That was probably because I spent an hour stretching it. Diego had put my hair up into an elegant bun, as well as doing my makeup and giving me a pair of beautiful, strapless silver stilettos to complete the outfit.

  “Come on, hot cheeks,” Diego called from my bedroom door. “Shane is waiting in the limo.” Limo? Did Alex have a spare limo in the garage?

  “We’re going in a limo?” I asked, picking up my silver clutch.

  “It’s a premiere, Darling. What did you expect?” Shaking his head at me, he put his hand in mine. “I can’t wait for Alex to catch a glimpse of you. You look stunning tonight, even if you didn’t let me style your hair down.”

  “I don’t wear my hair down when I’m working.” I’d protested that fact earlier, as well. “Don’t walk so fast. I’ll fall over.”

  “Girl, you need to wear heels more often, and this won’t feel like working tonight, trust me.” I ended up taking my heels off because he wouldn’t slow down. When I reached the bottom of the staircase, I was too focused on putting my shoes back on to notice Alex making his way toward me. Lifting my head once I was done, my breath hitched at the sight of him. He’d looked nice in his dark blue Dior suit when he tried it on, but now that it was fitted, he looked good enough to eat. I hadn’t seen him this clean cut before. He was clean-shaven, and his hair was more styled than usual.

  “Wow, that dress… You look…beautiful.” He seemed a little lost for words as his eyes roamed my body from head to toe. I was fighting the drool that wanted to dribble down my chin. Jesus, his muscles were straining in that suit. It looked good with the white shirt, too. The top three buttons were undone.

  “No tie?” I questioned. It was the first thing that came to my mind as I gazed at him.

  “I don’t do ties.” I knew that. “I don’t do suits that often, either.”

  “You should. You look good in them.” His eyes widened. Shit. I’d just given him a compliment. What was I thinking?

  “Careful, Straight Lace, I’m starting to think you might like me,” he winked, running his hands through his hair.

  “I do like you, just not in that way.” Grinning, I turned to follow Diego, who had already started to walk away. His outfit was pretty tame tonight. He’d gone for a white suit, a sparkling pink shirt, and pink strappy heels.

  “Oh, well that’s progress at least. I thought you still hated me.”

  “I’ve never hated you.”

  “Not even the first time we met?”

  “Come on you two. We’re already late!” Diego called from the front door.

  “After you,” Alex gestured, holding his arm out. I moved, holding in a groan when I felt his hand press softly against the small of my back. With his skin touching mine, I couldn’t deny the fire that soared through my body.

  “That was very gentlemanly of you, ” I grinned as he joined me in the limo.

  “I’m always a gentleman.” I scoffed at his response while we watched Diego slide gracefully next to me.

  “No skinny trousers tonight then?” Alex smirked, looking at him.

  “Why? Do you prefer me in those? I can change if you want to look at my ass all night.”

  “Fucker!” Alex glared. I snorted, watching Diego stick his tongue out at him.

  I’d seen events like this on television, but it was nothing compared to the reality of how vast everything was. We were dropped off at the top of the red carpet, which looked a mile long.

  “Do you have extra sharpies in your bag?” Alex asked before we both got out.

  “Yes, and you’ll have press to talk to halfway down the red carpet after the photo op. I had a long chat with Grace this morning. She’s the media organizer tonight.”

  “You did do your research.”

  “It helps to be organized sometimes.” Alex nodded, giving me a warm smile.

  The noise around us was deafening. Everywhere I looked in the crowd, someone was calling Alex’s name. Watching him with his fans felt surreal. Fifteen years ago, I’d been behind that barrier calling out his name just for a single glimpse of him. Things had definitely changed since then. Here I was today, on the red carpet, aiding him as he greeted the crowds.

  “Alex, will you sign my shirt? Alex, can I take a photo with you? Alex, I fucking love you! Alex, sign my tits.” I couldn’t keep up with all their requests, but watching as he made sure they all got something from him—whether it be a smile in their direction, a handshake, or a signature—took my breath away.

  “What?” he asked half an hour later before he reached the paparazzi.

  “You’re amazing with your fans.”

  “They made me who I am today. I owe them everything. Do you stil
l think you have me all worked out?” Gazing at him, I couldn’t answer.

  Chapter Eight

  “You’re pretty good at handling the media,” Alex mused once we’d taken our seats inside the cinema. “You sure know how to put them in their place. I think that was the most effortless set of interviews I’ve ever had.”

  “I have a love, hate relationship with them. I don’t mind being abrupt when they overstep their mark.”

  “That’s a little like us.” I had to giggle at that. “You look really beautiful tonight, Nat.”

  “Maybe you should keep your eyes on the stage instead of on me.” I smirked, brushing of his comment while we watched the director and main leads take the stage. I tried to collect my thoughts, but Alex Harbour had just called me beautiful.

  So many people acknowledged Alex as they wandered past us. Some stopped to congratulate him on the song for the soundtrack. I, myself, was disappointed with the song. It had a more pop feel than rock. To me, it was like he’d sold out on this track. It wasn’t the real him.

  My mouth fell open when Adam Rider came over and had a quick chat with us. He was ‘the’ Hollywood actor at the moment, and gazing up at him, I could see why. The man was almost as sexy as Alex, with his dark, almost black hair, deep chocolate eyes and sexy Irish accent. He wore a tux just as well, too.

  “When are you going to take that jump into the film industry, Alex?” he asked, darting his eyes toward me.

  “That’s never going to happen, Adam. Music is my love. We’ve had this conversation before.”

  “And who is this? I don’t think we’ve been introduced.” Adam held my gaze, the same way Alex did the first time I met him. Celebrities of their caliber always had that effect on me, knocking me breathless with their beauty. It was a surreal moment to realize they were real people, not just a perfect face in a magazine or on TV.

  “I…I…I’m Natasha White,” I stuttered, taking his hand when he offered it to me.

  “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Natasha,” he cooed, kissing the back of my hand. Hollywood actors…were they all this smooth? “I’m not used to seeing Alex with such a sophisticated woman.” Now I was blushing.