Wonderlust (Steel Roses #1) Read online

  Out of all the rooms in the mansion, why had Alex decided to have a marathon fuck fest right next to my room? As soon as I asked myself the question though, I knew the answer; the asshole had done it on purpose. Was it payback for my ice stunt? Was that how this was going to work with us? I’d do something, and then he’d get me back. Placing my head in my hands, I let out a big sigh. I couldn’t live like this.

  “What are you doing up, Straight Lace?” Alex’s smug voice came from behind me. This was all a game to him.

  “I couldn’t sleep,” I replied calmly, turning to look at him. My face began to redden at the sight of him in just a pair of sweats that hung low off his hips. Fuck! What a body! My eyes traveled down his abs before tracing all the lines of his star tattoos on his right shoulder.

  “I didn’t keep you awake, did I?” he asked, reaching for something from the fridge. When he did, my eyes focused on the ink on his back. It was my favorite tattoo of his. A sword with wings covered his entire back. To me, it symbolized strength. It also made me wonder if maybe it held a deeper meaning to him.

  “No, I’m still suffering from jetlag.” I wasn’t giving him the satisfaction of knowing his sex games had kept me from getting any sleep.

  “Is that all it is?” Turning around with a bag of Maltesers in his hands, he began to move closer toward me. I could see the evidence of the coke he’d been snorting earlier in his eyes. They were bloodshot.

  “Yes. Why? Did you think there might be another reason I’m awake?”

  “I’m banging four incredibly hot chicks simultaneously in the bedroom next to yours. I wasn't sure if that was keeping you up or not.” He tried to keep a straight face by putting chocolate after chocolate in his mouth, but he was too high to manage it.

  “That was you?” I acted surprised. “I thought that might have been one of the security guys watching a porno. I didn’t hear much, but what I did hear sounded like a fake female orgasm to me. Sorry.” The smile on his face dropped. “Don’t let me keep you from your fun, though,” I added with a grin, sipping my milk.

  “Do you have a fucking answer for everything?”

  “Usually.”

  “You think you have me all worked out, don’t you?”

  “Let’s see… Washed up rock star that’s thrown his life away with drugs and alcohol. Yeah, think I do.” This was getting too personal, but he was goading me.

  “That’s what you see?” His eyes were blazing as he slammed his fists on the counter in front of me, dropping his chocolate. What was with his obsession with Maltesers anyway? There were empty packets all over the mansion, and it wasn’t even a chocolate you could get in America, as far as I knew.

  “Yes.” I stood my ground. He wasn’t going to frighten me.

  “What gives you the fucking right to say that?”

  “If you don’t want my opinion, don’t ask for it!” By that point, I was so enraged that my face was only inches away from his. Realizing just how close I was to his lips, I began to pant. Shit! This situation should not be turning me on. This asshole had just been fucking four women at the same time moments ago, in the room right next to mine. Not to mention he’d been sniffing coke all afternoon. Why was I burning from the inside?

  “You know it’s not just your opinion I want,” he whispered, touching the side of my face. “I want you, Natasha. You’re driving me fucking crazy.” The desperate tone in his voice made my legs clench together. No, White, fight it!

  “No,” I warned, echoing the thoughts in my head as I swiped his hand softly away with my own.

  “No?” he asked with a slight smirk. Could he tell that my resolve was fading?

  “No,” I repeated firmly, pulling away and exiting the kitchen.

  Leaving was the only option. Alex touching my face—the softness of his tone when he told me he wanted me—it had affected me. I’d seen a side to him for a split second that I liked, and that scared me. Was he breaking through my defenses?

  “I’m so happy to hear that you’re enjoying the job, Natasha.” Gina had been singing my praises all morning. Alex was slumped on one of his couches. To me, it looked like he was falling asleep. Wild sex parties day after day that lasted well into the early morning would do that to a person, though. “Do you have anything to add, Alex?” Gina called, making his eyes snap open in surprise.

  “Not really. Can I go back to bed now?” He yawned, stretching as if to emphasize his question. My eyes fell onto a small part of his stomach that was visible. I needed to stop perving at him!

  “Fine! I didn’t come to see you anyway,” Gina scolded, shaking her head at him. Alex rose to his feet, walking over to kiss her forehead before leaving without so much as a word to me. “He gets into these kind of moods a lot,” she stated as we both watched him walk past the pool toward the mansion, kicking his feet as he went. “I’m sure you’ve worked out that it’s depression. It’s one of the side effects from the drugs and alcohol. Being in the public eye isn’t easy.”

  “You weren’t kidding about this job being unlike anything I’d ever done before, were you?”

  “No,” she chuckled. ”But Alex on a good day, makes up for a whole week of him being on self destruct.”

  “I haven’t seen him on a good day yet.”

  “You will. He’ll perk up when he’s doing promo. Not to mention he’s on New York Live next month. He feeds off those live performances. It doesn’t do him any good to close himself off in this house for long periods of time.”

  “He’s never alone, though,” I frowned.

  “Don’t get me started on his abandonment issues. We’d be here all day.” Alex had desertion problems? I didn’t believe that for a second.

  “Oh, I have my signed contract for you!” I suddenly remembered, taking it from my desk drawer.

  “Were you happy with everything? Do you have any questions?”

  “No, everything was fine. Thank you.”

  “Well, at least this means we can go public. Everyone will know Alex Harbour has a new PA by this time next week.” Crap, that meant I’d have to call Liv and tell her. That definitely wasn’t a conversation I was looking forward to.

  “Great.”

  “Try and sound a little more enthusiastic,” Gina snorted, getting up. “Keep up the good work, Nat. In time, you’ll be a real asset to Alex like Milly was.”

  “I doubt that, Gina.” I didn’t have her talent or confidence, but I would do my best.

  “Give it time. I think you’ll surprise yourself.” With one thoughtful look toward me, she left.

  My first week as Alex’s PA hadn’t been too bad. Now all I had to do was call Liv and tell her that I was working for him.

  “What? You can’t be serious?” Liv’s voice was shaking. “You are cozying up with Alex fucking Harbour?”

  “I couldn’t tell you until I’d signed the contract. You know how these things go.”

  “But I’m your best friend. We’ve been in love with this guy since we were twelve! You should have told me!”

  “You’re the one in love with him. I liked the band more than Alex.”

  “Bullshit! You used to make up these stories about meeting him and having his babies! I haven’t forgotten that shit!” Damn, she had a good memory. Even I’d forgotten about that. “When do I get to meet him then? Ugh, I should have guessed you were lying. Alex Heater was a ridiculous name!”

  “Liv, I can’t just invite you over to his place. What do you expect me to say…? ‘Oh, hey Alex. This is my best friend, Liv. She’s staying with us for a few days.’”

  “You can’t keep him all to yourself! Jesus, Nat! I bet he’s fucking gorgeous in flesh, isn’t he?” It sounded like she was sobbing. “I can’t believe you lied to me! You’re his PA. That’s not fair!”

  “I had no choice.”

  “Does he walk around shirtless?” I didn’t answer. It would only make her worse if she knew he did, all the time. “Oh, God, he does. I just know it! You lucky bitch!”


  “If it makes you feel any better, he’s a complete asshole. All we do is fight.”

  “Then have rough sex?”

  “NO!” I seethed, standing up and pacing my bedroom. “I’ve only been here a week anyway. What kind of person do you take me for? What makes you think I’d even want to sleep with him? He’s not my type!”

  “Nat, you slept with your last boss, and Alex is way hotter. Of course he’s your type! You’d be crazy not to go there. David isn’t even near his league.”

  “That’s your opinion,” I snapped. She was so frustrating!

  “Let me get this straight…you are there with Alex ‘Sex God’ Harbour, and you’re still pining after your ex boss? Are you for real?”

  “He called me a few days ago.”

  “David did?”

  “He said he missed me.”

  “Nat, don’t do this to yourself. I may be pissed that you’re working for my man, but I still worry about you. David is a player. It was only ever just sex to him. You deserve better.”

  “I love him.”

  “No, you don’t. It’s fucking infatuation. I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but if you want to get over David, you’re working for the most perfect man to do it with. He’s a damn rock star, and you know where you stand with him. No strings attached—just mind blowing sex.”

  “How the hell would you know if he is mind blowing in bed?”

  “In my dreams he’s a fucking animal.”

  “Well, I’ve heard him fucking and he’s got no stamina,” I lied, looking toward my door when a knock came.

  “Do not do that! Don’t ruin my dreams. He’s delicious and has the biggest cock I’ve ever seen.”

  “And you wonder why you’re single. You’ve got to get over your rock star crush, Liv,” I giggled, opening my door. Holy shit. Alex was standing there in just a pair of sweatpants, frowning at me.

  “He is the most perfect man on this planet. I can’t ever get over him.” Gazing at his body right now, Liv made a good point.

  “I’ve got to go. Something’s come up.”

  “It better not be Alex’s gigantic cock!” I began to blush. Ground, swallow me up now please. He was still watching me carefully.

  “Bye, Liv,” I stressed, hanging up. “Hey,” I panted, trying to clear imagines of his cock from my mind before talking to him properly.

  “Who were you talking to?”

  “My friend in London. She’s looking after my apartment while I’m here.” I was talking too fast. “Did you want me?” Why did I just say that?

  “Is that an offer?” he smirked, leaning against my doorframe. I shook my head, crossing my arms. “I’m just playing with you. Diego and I were going to order take out. We were wondering if you wanted anything? Shane is out, and Mary doesn’t work weekends so we have to fend for ourselves.”

  “I could have cooked something if you wanted. You only had to ask.”

  “No, really, it’s fine. You’ve been working all day. Are you hungry?” Actually, now that he’d mentioned it, I was starving.

  “Sure, I could eat.” As I followed him down the staircase, he turned to look at me, stopping in his tracks on one of the steps.

  “Which rock star were you talking about with your friend on the phone a moment ago?”

  “Huh?” I asked, not really paying attention. Damn Liv for making me think about his junk!

  “Come back to me, White,” he chuckled, tucking a loose strand of hair back behind my ear. “Which rock star was it?” Why did his touch have to ignite a spark inside me that I hadn’t felt since being with David?

  “You’re the only rock star I know. Who do you think we were talking about?”

  “You’re friend has a crush on me?” He pretended to be shocked, clutching his chest.

  “Doesn’t everyone?”

  “You don’t, and that cuts deep.” Rolling my eyes at him, I continued walking down the stairs, passing him. Was he ever going to let this go?

  Diego was sitting in the spacious living room watching TV when we found him. “I ordered Chinese. You two were taking too long.”

  “I was only gone five minutes,” Alex tutted, looking toward me. “You okay with Chinese?”

  “Sure,” I muttered. Talk about surreal; I was about to have takeout with a rock star.

  “Caged—that was your breakthrough album. Every song was pure magic!” Diego sighed into his glass of red wine. He and Alex started reminiscing about Steel Roses after we’d finished our food. I was hanging on their every word. Getting inside information about those days was fascinating.

  “The year two thousand. I remember it well.”

  “Your hair was more manageable, and you had better dress sense.” Diego was hilarious. The more time I spent with him, the more I liked him.

  “I don’t dress that differently now!”

  “Alex, you don’t dress at all now. How many days have you been wearing that shirt you had on earlier?”

  “Three,” I answered for Alex. “I was wondering if he just had a lot of the same colored shirts, until I noticed the same stain on it two days in a row.”

  “I have not been wearing that shirt for three days!” Alex was adamant.

  “Do you even know what day it is?” I asked, quirking my eyebrow at him. He was about to respond, but then suddenly stopped to think about it. “You have no idea what day it is, do you?”

  “It’s the wine,” he muttered, trying to brush it off. “It’s Sunday.”

  “Close. Try Saturday.” He was too easy to wind up. “It’s okay. If you need me to add telling you what day it is to my job description, I can.”

  “Maybe you should add doing his laundry, too,” Diego commented. “Milly used to liaise with Mary because Alex doesn’t like many people in his bedroom.” I choked on my wine. Bullshit. I bet every female that had ever set foot in this mansion knew where his bedroom was. “I’m talking about his actual bedroom on the top floor, not the sex pit he keeps his harem in on the second floor.” I found the fact that he had two bedrooms very interesting.

  “Did you just call one of my bedrooms a sex pit?” Alex had an amused look on his face.

  “I think the name fits,” I giggled. “You may not have been in that room the other night, but what you were doing sounded like a sex pit to me.” This wine was making me too bold.

  “You told me that I didn’t wake you.” His lips curved into the sexiest smile I’d ever seen.

  “You didn’t wake me, but the headboard and porn star groans did.”

  Diego choked on his mouthful of wine. “You had sex in the bedroom next to hers? Alex, you whore! Have you no shame?”

  “It was an ‘in the moment’ kind of thing.” Alex looked smugly at his friend.

  “How many women did you have in there again? I’ve forgotten.” I hadn’t really, but I wanted to watch Diego’s expression to see if having four women at the same time was something Alex did a lot.

  “Three.”

  “What happened to number four?” I laughed.

  “She had to get back to her husband.” What? “That was a joke,” he snorted, watching my shocked face. “She’d had too much to drink, so Shane gave her a ride home. I always make sure my girls get home safely.” That was very noble of him.

  “You must spend a fortune on travel costs.”

  “Probably not as much as you think.” Tilting my head, I gave him a questioning look. Was he trying to tell me he didn’t sleep around that much? Yeah, right! I’d only been here for a little over a week and knew that was a lie. "I let some stay for long periods of time to save on gas.”

  “I thought they were your girlfriends,” Diego howled with laughter. “Are you telling me you only let them stay to save on gas?” Alex didn’t answer. He was watching me intently instead, with a playful smile.

  “I’ve only known him a week and I think it’s something he might do.”

  “Oh, yes, I forgot you know me so well already.” Alex raised his eyebrow, a smal
l smile playing on his lips.

  “Okay, kittens, I’d love to stay up all night talking, but this diva needs to get his beauty sleep.” Diego yawned before getting up to kiss us both on the cheek. Then he was gone, and I was suddenly alone with Alex. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea.

  Chapter Six

  “You’ve gone really quiet,” Alex mused, sipping his wine as he watched me intently.

  “I was thinking about heading to bed as well. I’m really tired.”

  “I’m not stopping you.”

  “You’ve been different tonight. Diego seems to have a good effect on you.”

  “He’s my oldest friend. We’ve been through a lot together.” Alex began to play with his wine glass, trying to avoid eye contact with me.

  “Tell me if I’m interfering, but the drugs…” I trailed off, not really sure how to continue.

  “I’m a rock star, Baby! It’s what we do.” He was playing it off, but to me, he looked ashamed of himself. “Does it make you uncomfortable?”

  “No, it’s your body. It’s just a waste, that’s all.”

  “A waste?” He frowned, finishing the rest of his wine. “You really don’t hold back any punches do you, Straight Lace? I’ve never had a woman speak to me the way you do. Not even Milly.”

  “Don’t you like being challenged?”

  “Women usually want to suck my cock rather than talk to me.”

  “Conversation is a good thing, you know? Don’t look so smug.”

  “I’ll take your word for that. I’d choose sex over talking every time.” I gave him an exasperated look. Was he serious? “You’d choose talking over sex?”

  “Yes.” Okay, now I was lying.

  “You’re not doing it right if that’s the case.”

  “Intimacy can be a better experience. Sex shouldn’t be all about fucking.”

  “It is when you’re a rock star.” Rolling my eyes, I got up. “Goodnight, Straight Lace,” he winked, downing his wine.

  “Night, Alex.” Shaking my head, I left him alone.